How to write an obituary
An obituary is a short notice that tells people someone has died and when they can say goodbye, and often a few lines about who they were. There is no single correct form. Here is a calm way to approach it.
You do not have to write it alone, or all at once. It is fine to start with only the name and the service details.
Start with the facts
- Full name, and any name the family used.
- Age, and the date and, if you wish, the place of death.
- Where they lived, and where they were born, if you want to include it.
- Service details: day, time and place. If the service is private, say so.
Add a few lines about their life
You do not need a full biography. Two or three details that sound like them are usually enough: the work they did, something they loved, a habit their family will always remember. A short, specific detail says more than a long list.
Name the family, in the way you are comfortable with
Many notices list the people who are left, and sometimes those who died before. You can name everyone, name only a few, or use a general line such as “and many friends.” If family arrangements are complicated, include only what you are comfortable making public.
Say what you would like people to do
If the family prefers donations to flowers, or wishes for a private ceremony, include a sentence about it, with the name of the charity written exactly.
A simple order to follow
- Name, age, place and date of death.
- Birth, family background and early life, if you wish.
- Work, interests and what they were known for.
- Who survived them, and who died before.
- Service details.
- Donations or flowers.
How long should it be?
For a newspaper, a short notice of fifty to a hundred and fifty words is common, and many papers charge by the line or the word, so ask for their rules first. For a service program or a family page, you can write as much as you like. A short notice for the paper and a longer remembrance for the service can sit side by side.
Check before it is printed
- Read every name and date aloud. Spelling mistakes in names are easy to miss.
- Ask another family member or a close friend to read it.
- Confirm the service details with the funeral home or venue.
If it feels like too much
Funeral directors often help write and place notices. A friend or relative who writes well can draft it for you. If you would rather begin with a template, choose one of our obituary templates, or try the short newspaper version.
Where to share it
Families commonly use a local newspaper, a funeral home's website and a post among friends and family. Each has its own rules about length and cost, so ask before you decide.
Before sharing online, consider leaving out home addresses, full birth dates, a mother’s maiden name, and when the home will be empty.